19

Oct 11

Zombies Are Great!

ZombieWalk

Question: Why are zombies so awesome??!?!

Answer: They aren’t.

I hate this whole “zombie” coolness thing. Get over it. Please don’t join “zombie walks”. Please don’t fill up my social network streams with Zombie posts. Please don’t purchase “zombie survival books.” Please don’t put fake “zombie eyes” in my Coke-a-Cola Classic. Also, please don’t dress your dog as a zombie for Halloween. Your pet will hate you forever, and probably poop on your carpet for revenge.

Zombies aren’t cool, never were cool… well, technically they might be cool… because they’re dead. I mean, are dead people hot? I really don’t think so. I’m not a scientist, so I can’t confirm my previous statement. Anyway, I digress. Zombies are as cool as the 80′s fashion comebacks. Ever notice why 80′s fashion keeps coming back, and you ask yourself, “self, didn’t the 80′s already try to come back a few years ago?” The answer is yes. Yes it did. It sucked so bad, the people who were bringing back the 80′s fashion, stopped and realized that no one likes the 80′s. That’s how it is with Zombies. Just. Give. It. Up. No one really likes them.

Let’s say you actually DO like them.. also, lets just say they’re real.  You’d never survive. The only people who would survive, are the ones that can fly….. forever. That pretty much leaves just me.

The whole point of this post is let you know I’m tired of this Zombie crap. Go bake some cookies and send them to me… it’ll take your mind of Zombies. Also, cookies are delightful.

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14

Oct 11

Lets experiment! Yay!

My Wife Drinking Beer

I think I’ve done it. I’ve finally got myself into something I can’t get out of… what is it you might ask? Brewing my own alcohol. No, not like moonshine, which is disgusting by the way. I’ve had moonshine from the south, and after we drank some, we started the fire with it. My insides were punching me, from… umm, the inside.

Back to my point. I’ve decided that I’m going to make my own beer/cider/wine. I’m starting with Cider, moving onto Beer, and then finally moving onto Wine. See, I know absolutely NOTHING about fermentation… talk to me about all that “scientific” stuff, and I’ll fall asleep. Right away. I have trouble sleeping too.

I was actually going to just make cider, then I saw the picture attached to this post, and it instantly made me want to make beer as well. The power of the internet!

So, we’ll see how this turns out. When it’s finished, I’m going to make my wife try it before I do… then I’ll give it a few days to make sure she doesn’t get sick. If it passes the “fail” test, then I’ll drink it. If it’s good, I’ll sell it to everyone in the world and become the king of cider/beer/wine…. which ever people want to crown me the title of. It’s really not up to me. Its up to my millions consumers.

I’ll update this blog with my progress……. or lack-there-of.

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8

Oct 11

Changes.

Skeptical Sloth... is skeptical.

I’ve made a lot of changes to the website… I got tired of blogging about food, even though I hardly did. Too many people were doing it, and I didn’t feel that compelled to write about it. I grow it, I cook it, I eat it. The buck stops there. Nothing to see here… please move on.

The first thing you’ll notice is the layout. It’s changed obviously. If you didn’t notice… SURPRISE! Well, now that we’re on the same page, it’s also Orange; which is my favorite color. Its my favorite color in theory though. Don’t buy me anything Orange. I won’t wear it, and I won’t use it. I just like the color on webpages, and baseball uniforms. Ohh, and on fruit.

I guess the theme of this website is now going to be, “whatever the hell I feel like.” I think I’m going to enjoy writing about that way more then the previous theme.

You’re probably not going to agree with me on a lot of things, and I don’t expect you to… but I do expect you to pretend as though you do. It’ll make your life easier, and my life easier. As you’re reading my new posts, just nod your head up and down. Positive reinforcement. Trust me, I’m a psychologist….. not really. I just read a lot of magazines….. sports magazines.

The journey starts here, and ends here. Enjoy your stay, and hopefully I can make you a little bit more intelligent than you were before you came to visit me.  Don’t forget to grab your white jumpsuit and kool-aid at the door.

 

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5

Oct 11

Steve Yobs.

Steve Yobs

So… apparently the news is spreading across the internet like wildfire. Steve Jobs has passed away, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Obviously I feel horrible for his family/friends. No one deserves to die a slow death; not even my worst enemies. Like I said above, I’m just not sure how I feel about it.

Listen, the guy was a visionary for the tech world. He invented thousand upon thousands of things that changed how you and I interact each and everyday… but should I feel sad? I don’t. I think I feel more selfish than anything. I feel as though he died too soon… not because I wanted him to live longer, but because I wanted to see what invention he would come up with next. The man was a genius, and I didn’t mind supporting his lifestyle with monetary donations. I feel guilty for feeling this way… but as Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

Steve was a visionary… and every Apple product on the market destroys the competition by a million miles. I kind of feel as though I lost my hamster, only my hamster didn’t invent anything…… And he was more than likely stupid.

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